You have probably seen this before:
You are having a great morning. You’re having a great morning, but then someone cuts you off while driving and your whole day is ruined. You may be angry because you saw something on social media. Your good mood has now disappeared. A disagreement with a family member or friend can ruin your day.
It’s hard to resist the effects of people and events that we encounter in our daily lives.
There are some things you can to do prevent others from ruining your good day. Here are five helpful tips:
Don’t take things personally
It is easy to assume that every action someone takes is a personal attack against you.
The truth is that most people are too busy with their own lives to even think about you.
Remember that when someone does something you find offensive, it is not always about you. It can be difficult to adopt this mindset, but it is very liberating.
Set Boundaries
Many people make a mistake when they try to set boundaries. Many people make the mistake of trying to set boundaries for others, and then getting angry or upset if those boundaries aren’t respected.
The key to effective boundary setting is to establish them for yourself.
Although you won’t have control over the behavior of others, you can still control yours.
Know what you are comfortable with, and what you don’t. What are you willing to tolerate? Where will you not go?
Then, stick to these boundaries even if that means walking away or saying no.
Understanding the Fundamental Attribution error
The basic attribution error occurs when we attribute the behavior of others to their character, while attributing that of ourselves to circumstances.
When someone cuts you off while driving, you may think that they are rude. If you cut someone in traffic off, you’d probably say that you were in a rush.
It’s just who they are. It’s due to the circumstances I was in.
This fundamental attribution mistake leads to confusion and conflict.
Understanding this tendency will help you avoid making assumptions about the motives of others.
You don’t really know what is going on in the lives of others. Just as you react to your own circumstances, they are also reacting to theirs.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves being in the present moment and accepting the world as it is.
It can be useful for dealing with difficult situations and people, and the stress and anxiety they bring.
You’re less likely to be thrown off-balance by things happening around you when you are mindful. You can see things for what they really are, and then respond in a more constructive way.
Concentrating on your breathing is a simple way to practice mindfullness. It’s always with you and can be used as a focal point. Bring your awareness inside your body and notice how it feels at this moment.
These moments of self-observation are surprisingly powerful. This practice will also make you happier and more satisfied in general, making you more resilient against the inevitable challenges of life.
